Novembeard day 23. Nothing makes sense. My patchy beard is starting to gain too much power. Ladies are telling me it looks bad while guys keep saying my face is too cute for a beard. Everything is backwards. My only wish is that it doesn't come in the way of Thanksgiving. By request now some random videos.
Japanese Mcdonalds Ads
Just Creepy
Always funny
another
and another
brits
feel uncomfortable
not creepy
thats enough for now. You've probably seen some before but whatever.
on 6 more days to go now,
-bigboy
Monday, November 23, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
New Post
Its been what like 4 months or so since the last post? I am sorry. I have no excuse buts it's ok, I know you still love me internet and I say ditto to that.
Let me start by saying how much I hate the word halloweenie. It is neither funny nor cute. I hope to never see it again. Everything else about Halloween is very backed by me. Candy, horror movies and themed costumes that people (barely)wear always add to a good time. This years celebrations seemed to go by a little fast but good times were still had.
What i am trying to get at is i wore a jacket for the first time today. Summer ended a long time ago and it's now official. Two dudes complimented me on my novembeard that is growing in without me bringing it up. This is only day 5 so it must be getting pretty gnarly, nasty and dope. No jokes tonight because changes in temperature brings changes in barometric pressure which brings headaches which brings run on sentences. I just wanted to get something down so there are no more notices filling my inbox reminding me my failures of being a number one friend.
No editing
-Bigboy
Let me start by saying how much I hate the word halloweenie. It is neither funny nor cute. I hope to never see it again. Everything else about Halloween is very backed by me. Candy, horror movies and themed costumes that people (barely)wear always add to a good time. This years celebrations seemed to go by a little fast but good times were still had.
What i am trying to get at is i wore a jacket for the first time today. Summer ended a long time ago and it's now official. Two dudes complimented me on my novembeard that is growing in without me bringing it up. This is only day 5 so it must be getting pretty gnarly, nasty and dope. No jokes tonight because changes in temperature brings changes in barometric pressure which brings headaches which brings run on sentences. I just wanted to get something down so there are no more notices filling my inbox reminding me my failures of being a number one friend.
No editing
-Bigboy
Monday, June 15, 2009
America
So things aren't that great for America right now. All I keep hearing about are bailouts and foreclosurers. I am planning to run for president once I come of age and have a plan to solve all of these issues. It's quite simple actually. BAN PUBERTY.
I am sorry. I didn't mean to use the caps lock there but once I got started, there was just no turning back.
First off, who likes puberty to begin with. Who gets excited to find hair growing in new places. Why do I watch movies on hulu called "How to Stuff a Wild Bikini". Because it sounds like something that pertains to my interest. How am I to know that Hulu was deceiving me. It was a 60's chick flick/surf movie. I will never get that time back.
Lets take a step back here. Look at yourself in a mirror and imagine you look like Michael Cera. Girls imagine a more femine Cera. Now just think how much better the world would be. You aren't stuck playing the same awkward character in every movie trying to impress another girl. No guy wants to be with the girl version of Michael Cera. I don't even want to think what that would look like.
After realizing that I have only focused on the perverted/relationship aspects of puberty, I decided the subject to get hit with some knowledge. What a terrible mistake. I don't know what a tween girl is but I feel lucky to have never been one.
Alright I know this picture came out a little blurry, but it is very important. Listen to the things that describe prepubescent boys.
Whining : Boys generally whine less than girls
Potty Training : Boys just piss everywhere
Testosterone : Boys: Running, Screaming, Breaking Things.
I stopped reading right there. What a dream come true it would be to live like this. I wouldn't mind a little more whining, but hey, what can you do. I just whined about whining.
So at first, I thought the world would just be better off to jump from childhood to adulthood. After some consideration, maybe childhood would just be better off for all of us. YOU DECIDE AMERICA. Whoops sorry again.
I am a mature guy ladies I swear, disregard this post.
-Bigboy
I am sorry. I didn't mean to use the caps lock there but once I got started, there was just no turning back.
First off, who likes puberty to begin with. Who gets excited to find hair growing in new places. Why do I watch movies on hulu called "How to Stuff a Wild Bikini". Because it sounds like something that pertains to my interest. How am I to know that Hulu was deceiving me. It was a 60's chick flick/surf movie. I will never get that time back.
Lets take a step back here. Look at yourself in a mirror and imagine you look like Michael Cera. Girls imagine a more femine Cera. Now just think how much better the world would be. You aren't stuck playing the same awkward character in every movie trying to impress another girl. No guy wants to be with the girl version of Michael Cera. I don't even want to think what that would look like.
After realizing that I have only focused on the perverted/relationship aspects of puberty, I decided the subject to get hit with some knowledge. What a terrible mistake. I don't know what a tween girl is but I feel lucky to have never been one.
Alright I know this picture came out a little blurry, but it is very important. Listen to the things that describe prepubescent boys.Whining : Boys generally whine less than girls
Potty Training : Boys just piss everywhere
Testosterone : Boys: Running, Screaming, Breaking Things.
I stopped reading right there. What a dream come true it would be to live like this. I wouldn't mind a little more whining, but hey, what can you do. I just whined about whining.
So at first, I thought the world would just be better off to jump from childhood to adulthood. After some consideration, maybe childhood would just be better off for all of us. YOU DECIDE AMERICA. Whoops sorry again.
I am a mature guy ladies I swear, disregard this post.
-Bigboy
Friday, May 1, 2009
Swine Flu
Welcome back. I just got a new laptop so I'm back in business and there is something that needs addressing. The Swine Flu. I think this is a post of destiny. Now I have been planning to talk about The Swine Flu for a couple of hours. What makes this interesting is that I had just declared my love for Brad Pitt movies to Brooke when in Snatch some guy got "fed to the pigs". Coincidence? Probably.
If you are alive still, you've probably heard about the level 5 pandemic that is canceling Mexican soccer games. Oh and killing people. Mostly tiny mexican babies. Is this the beginning of farmaggedon or the aporkolypse? Is it just another big media conspiracy to garner new viewers? Will I ever learn proper sentence structure?
First of all, Mad Cow is a much cooler name. We all know that. Swine influenza sounds a little better. Here's a little something you didn't know. Peta made the swine flu in their evil labs in Alcatraz. The vegans and vegitarians of the world have had enough. It's time to eliminate all of us meat eaters. What they didn't know is that this has been tried before.
Next thing we know, stuff like this will be happening all over the world. Nobody wants this to happen. Well ok, I really really want this to happen.
Alright final check to see if you have The Swine flu. Have you been to Mexico? If so you are probably infected. The only known cure for the Swine flu is to eat bacon, so eat as much as you can. That or listen to the band Pig Destroyer.
The Hogocaust is coming, grab all the oinkment you can. Corniness overload
-Bigboy
If you are alive still, you've probably heard about the level 5 pandemic that is canceling Mexican soccer games. Oh and killing people. Mostly tiny mexican babies. Is this the beginning of farmaggedon or the aporkolypse? Is it just another big media conspiracy to garner new viewers? Will I ever learn proper sentence structure?
First of all, Mad Cow is a much cooler name. We all know that. Swine influenza sounds a little better. Here's a little something you didn't know. Peta made the swine flu in their evil labs in Alcatraz. The vegans and vegitarians of the world have had enough. It's time to eliminate all of us meat eaters. What they didn't know is that this has been tried before.
Next thing we know, stuff like this will be happening all over the world. Nobody wants this to happen. Well ok, I really really want this to happen.
Alright final check to see if you have The Swine flu. Have you been to Mexico? If so you are probably infected. The only known cure for the Swine flu is to eat bacon, so eat as much as you can. That or listen to the band Pig Destroyer.
The Hogocaust is coming, grab all the oinkment you can. Corniness overload
-Bigboy
Monday, February 9, 2009
My oh my,
It has been a long time. Now i know what everyone is thinking already and no i didn't forget all of you.
That was a huge lie. I completely forgot I had a blog. My last post says thanksgiving and i didnt reread it so my only explanation is that i had some wacky turkey and everything blogspot was washed clean of my memory.
Yesterday was a very special day. 20 years ago this day something was born and that thing was Brooke Wilma Flinstone wilder. On this very day every year, give thanks that Brooke was good enough in her past life to be reincarnated into human form and not as a boring stick. The world is a better place because of this.
Ok dont do that. We all know she descended from the clouds on her day of birth. It was in Mary Poppins handbag. See what i did there.
I once read a book . It was called the fast and the furious 3, tokyo drift. It reminded me of brooke so much. The way they had parties on the boat that they said would never sink. Then it hit the ice berg. That is like brooke freaking out with her hair you see. But then they let the women and children off first. So she cleans herself up. That was an easy read. Vin Diesel is the Brooke Wilder of hollywood.
My first post back was incoherant and made no sense. Sounds about right. Many more to come now.
Merry Bday wishes,
Bigboy
That was a huge lie. I completely forgot I had a blog. My last post says thanksgiving and i didnt reread it so my only explanation is that i had some wacky turkey and everything blogspot was washed clean of my memory.
Yesterday was a very special day. 20 years ago this day something was born and that thing was Brooke Wilma Flinstone wilder. On this very day every year, give thanks that Brooke was good enough in her past life to be reincarnated into human form and not as a boring stick. The world is a better place because of this.
Ok dont do that. We all know she descended from the clouds on her day of birth. It was in Mary Poppins handbag. See what i did there.
I once read a book . It was called the fast and the furious 3, tokyo drift. It reminded me of brooke so much. The way they had parties on the boat that they said would never sink. Then it hit the ice berg. That is like brooke freaking out with her hair you see. But then they let the women and children off first. So she cleans herself up. That was an easy read. Vin Diesel is the Brooke Wilder of hollywood.
My first post back was incoherant and made no sense. Sounds about right. Many more to come now.
Merry Bday wishes,
Bigboy
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