Public Bathrooms

I know right. What is the deal? First off lets start off with the actual words themselves. First off public. There are a lot of things that I don't mind doing in public. Eating watermelon is a great example of this. Getting rid of my waste is not one of those things. Why not um, private bathrooms? Just think about it. Who was the creep that wanted a bunch of guys to pee in a strategically shaped bowl, just one foot away from each other`(5:22 in)? Was it Nate Moreno? This is very possible.
Next is bathroom. Now i know we have all heard the 5th grader at the grocery store make a big deal about not taking baths in the public bathroom let alone resting in the public restroom. But seriously though, if I am not bathing why dont we give it another name. I havent put a whole lot of thought into this but the thing that came to the top of my mind was the pee factory. It evern rhymes. Im jus sayin. And I dont think anyone would want to rest in the pee factory, or at least not anyone I want to know.
I haven't even touched on the worst thing about public bathrooms. That is ecentially it. Touching. Only employees have to wash their hands? Are you serious? When I am president it's a law that everyone must wash their hands. I am not even talking about a man law here. Bonafide legislature. Put it in the books. Have someone handwrite it on the constitution. Also what is the deal with dads bringing in their little 4 year old daughters to the bathroom. Now i have to be extra careful to make sure that no one sees bigboy jr. Why? Because not only is no one seeing bigboy jr good for my own personal hygiene and just overall sanity but also I have to worry about the well being of this girl. Lets say if some 4 year old honey sees a bunch dongs in the bath. She is now psychologically messed up. I know this i took psychology. Now because he mind is so young and fragile she doesn't know right from wrong. Up from down. Black from white? At the ripe young age 0f 16 she is now a streetwalker just going from 20$ bill to 20 dolla bill. That will not be allowed. No streetwalkers in my neighborhood. I say no to that. Why not potty train the girl. Or find some nice looking woman to make sure you kid doesnt flush herself down the toilet (which is not a toy, i dont know how it got that name either). Ok world. Do something right.

Investing in private pee factories since 08
-Bigboy

Double Post day

I cant believe it has been over a month since my last post. Well actually I can because I am reminded pretty much everyday. I think it is time that we move onto more important things.

Like football. It is football season. I wore my santana claus jersey to school. If that doesnt make sense google it. It is almost like all is right. But wait it gets better.

Football is literally a fantasy now. Because of fantasy football I now care how the bengals or bungals if i may do on sunday because i have chad ocho cinco on one of my teams. Instead of only caring about the redskins (really all that i ever need) i have the bonus of now having an interest in every game of the weekend.

Why do you care. Because I care. Funnier posts coming in the future. Today is reserved for real talk.

Keeping it real,
Bigboy

My day.

Story time. I am thinking you want to know how my day went. I will share.

It all started at 3 this morning when i was able to fall asleep. I have recently downloaded Ride the Lightning but it is sorta slowed down so it sounds more metal. I fell asleep listening to that.

I was then awoken by the doorbell at 1030 this morning. After letting it ring 3 times and hoping someone else would answer or they would go away I found the will power to go downstairs and answer the door. It was my old lady neighbor. I was wearing my short sleeping shorts that i so do love to wear and no shirt. There was an instant love connection. She said something about her cat but i wasnt paying attention because i just wanted to go back to sleep. That is exactly what i did 45 seconds later.

Jump forward to 12. I wake up and feel like a bum. Maybe because I am. Checked my email. Someone offered me a trade in fantasy football but it was stupid and i said no way. Also apparently there are christian singles in orlando looking for me. Aol is my new wingman.

Approx 1230 time for shower and shaving. That is right. I shave. Unlike Orlando Bloom. I have seen girls that can grow stronger facial hair than him. He needs to grow a man sized neck beard right now in order to regain my respect. Dude got to kiss the chick from Pirates of the caribbean. Its not fair.

I then went to class. Dominated it. We have to answer questions using these little clicker things. Its like mini quizes everyday in class. I went 5-5 today. Bigboy.

Went home and cleaned my room. Everything about cleaning your room is good. While i am cleaning i feel good because it is like i am doing something productive. And walking around in your room right after it is clean feels wonderful well just because. Your bum status gets elevated.

Here is where my day turned into a disney like story. I had a bunch of change in my room in car that I felt like putting to good use. I decided it was time to hit the coinstar. I walked into publix holding my albertsons plastic bag full of change feeling like such a rebel. As I was pouring my change into the machine I expected to get something in the 30-35 dollar not dolla range. To my surprise the receit came out and showed that I had just made 89$. Amazing. I felt so good. To celebrate I went to chick-fil-a and bought myself a chocolate milkshake. My day just turned so good. I went from being half naked with bed head in front of my old neighbor talking about cats to heel-clicking out of publix. That was my day. The more you know.

Yup,
Bigboy